More Than a Feeling
by CMarie1227
Summary: Season 4 - Right after Brenda and Dylan spent the night together, one week before she leaves for the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art in London
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Season 4 Finale – after Brenda and Dylan spend the night together, one week before she leaves for the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art in London.

Dylan sits at his the dining room table, which is covered in papers, with a shoe box off to the side. He reads letter after letter and his emotions swing from laughing out loud, to anger, to frustration, to almost ready to cry, then back to laughing out loud. He puts the letter he is reading on the table and looks out through the window. He begins to think about last night with Brenda, and how comfortable he felt with her arms wrapped around his body. Seeing that ever present loving look in her eyes as she pulled him closer to kiss him all over made him feel safer than he has felt in a long time. The moment she walked toward him and said, 'I want more than your applause' his heart flip-flopped in his chest and he couldn't wait to take her in his arms.

They had started in the living room on the couch and after finishing there had moved to the shower, then to the bedroom, where they finally fell asleep. From the moment it started, they barely spoke words, just reveled in the comfort they had always felt for each other. As they both drifted off with their arms around each other, he looked down at her and immediately words the he had written flashed back into his head.

'_I don't know that you'll ever trust me enough to give me another chance. If the opportunity presents itself, I promise you with everything that I am that I will take it, just to have you in my arms and be able to kiss you and squeeze you and drift off to sleep knowing that you will keep me safe.'_

He looked down at her and kissed the top of her head and tightened his arms around her frame. She moaned a little with her eyes still closed and tightened her grip around his chest and tried as hard as she could to get even closer to him than she already was. They fell asleep just like that and woke up in the same position.

He feels something on his face and it takes him a couple of seconds to realize that Brenda is kissing his forehead and cheeks trying to wake him up.

'Well, hello, beautiful,' he says, without opening his eyes.

'Dylan, it's time to wake up. I need to get going,' she says, while caressing the side of his face with her hand.

'Already?' he whines.

'Dylan, come on. As much as I'd like to repeat yesterday as many times as possible,' she smiles brightly at him, 'I need to finish getting my stuff together. I only have a week to wrap everything up before I am on a plane to London.'

'Yeah, alright, are you sure you don't want to have breakfast with me?' he winks at her, and tries as hard as he can to throw his best smoldering 'I-want-to-take-you-right-here-right-now' eyes.

'Oh, don't you dare give me that look!' she begins to laugh and play hits him in the chest. He grabs her and rolls her on top of him while she is pretending to fight him off. They stop for a moment and stare into each other's eyes. Brenda smiles down at him and drops down quickly to catch his lips. He grabs her around the waist and presses her body into his as she kisses him.

After another round, Brenda left to go finish packing and to tie up some of her affairs. Dylan went into the kitchen and retrieved a key that was taped to the back side of the refrigerator. He opens a desk drawer with the key and pulls out a shoe box full of letters and papers that he has written.

He laughs as he reflects on what happened the night before. They had fallen right back into the comfort zone they had always felt for each other with no hesitations. He pulls letters out of the box in front of him and begins to read them. Ever since Andrea had encouraged him to write about his father's death, he had taken one or two nights every week to reflect on feelings of things gone by, all the way back to when the Walshes first entered his life, some 3+ years ago.

He picks up a letter that he wrote and begins to read. He realizes that this particular letter was his attempt, years later, at trying to pinpoint his emotions after Brenda broke up with him during the pregnancy scare. He remembers trying to reflect on their conversation in the school after her summer school acting class.

_Flashback – Brenda and Dylan talk about their breakup after the pregnancy scare_

_Dylan sees Brenda down the hallway of the school, standing with Donna and Andrea. He waits until they leave her and then slowly walks to her with his hands in his pockets. He tries as hard as he can not to starting crying in front of her, as his words get stuck in his throat every times he speaks._

'_Hi,' she says, while looking down at the floor._

'_Hi' he says back to her._

'_I'm feeling bad, Bren," he says, with a hitch in his voice._

'_Me too,' she admits to him._

'_So, why are you doing it?' he asks._

_With tears in her eyes she looks at him and says, 'Dylan, I need some time.'_

_He shakes his head. 'You know I thought that if we ever broke up, I would feel this tremendous sense of relief. I could go back to being myself. But something happened, I fell in love with you or something and I stopped being a loner.'_

'_Dylan, I think that's wonderful.'_

'_I think it's terrible. The only person in this world that I have to depend on is me and I always have to remember it?' he says with attitude._

'_Dylan, that's not true. You can depend on me.'_

'_Oh, really?'_

_The tears grow larger in her eyes. 'Dylan, just because I need some time and a break, doesn't mean that I still don't love you or that this isn't painful for me too.'_

'_Maybe that's what they mean when they say love hurts.'_

'_Dylan, I got so close it scared me,' she raises her voice a little, and then says, 'I don't want to be scared with you.'_

_He knows she's right. He doesn't want her to be scared ever. He strengthens his resolve a little and says, 'I know.'_

_Shaking his head, he knows that she's not going to budge on this. His heart breaks a little more and on the verge of tears streaming down his face, he says, 'If we're meant to be together time will tell.' He can't look at her. He sniffles and lets out a few quick breaths to keep from breaking down._

_She reacts to his obvious pain. She can't look him the eye and stares down at the floor in hopes of trying to keep her emotions inside._

'_Can I take you home?' he tries one last effort to stay near her and convince her that they belong together._

_She looks up at him with hurt in her eyes, sniffles, and says, 'No. I think I should walk. Goodbye, Dylan.'_

_His face falls. Her face falls. He closes his eyes, shakes his head, and begins to walk away. She turns away from his retreating form, hugs her notebook, and tries as hard as she can to keep it together. He gets to the end of the hallway and turns around to look at her._

Present Day

Dylan's eyes begin to tear up as he skims the letter he wrote which reflected on his state of emotions after that scene in the school. He remembers walking away from her and feeling hurt and angry that he possibly let someone get so close to him that he was physically sick with the fact that she did not want to be with him.

He spends the next hour or so looking through the letters that he wrote. As he puts a letter down, the phone begins to ring. He slowly gets up and walks to the phone.

'Hello?'

'Hi Dylan, its Suzanne.'

'Hey, where have you been? Nat called last night looking for you.'

'I was a little late for my shift. Kevin and I got a little carried away. I'm sorry he had to call you. I'm not sure what your plans are for the day, but would it be alright if I dropped Erica off with you? Kevin wants to take me up the coast for a drive,' she says.

'Oh, yeah, no problem. You can drop her off later on. I need to go out for a while, but I should be back around 4.'

'Great, thank you!' she beams.

He hangs up with her and goes to put his shoes on. On his way out the door, he grabs a few papers from the table that he set aside and leaves the house.

_Casa Walsh_

'Brenda, where have you been all night? I was worried about you,' Cindy says, as Brenda walks through the door at 11am.

'I spent the night with a friend on campus. We were up most of the night talking and stuff,' she lies.

'Well, you could have called. I know you're in college and you're about the leave the country, yet again, but I still worry about you, you know.'

'I know, Mom. I'm sorry,' she says, as she kisses her mother on the cheek and climbs the stairs to her room.

Brenda is sitting in the middle of the floor in her room going through the contents of her desk. Her mother comes in holding a box and as Brenda looks up she almost gasps out loud at the sight of it.

'I thought you'd want to go through this too. If it's still here when you leave, we're going to throw it out. Don't you think it's been long enough to be able to throw this box and all of its memories away?'

'I don't know Mom,' she says, as she reflects on the amazing night/morning she spent with Dylan.

'Well, I'll just leave it here and you can either go through it or just leave it for us to throw out, okay?'

'Okay.'

She stares at the offending box on the floor in front of her dresser. She tries to stay concentrated on the mess in front of her. _'One thing at a time,' she thinks_. A few hours goes by as she goes through each and every drawer in her desk, trying to decide what things she really needs and trying to figure out how she acquired so much crap. Every couple of minutes, her eyes drift to the box in front of the dresser, but she steels herself from running to it.

A couple of hours go by, and while sifting through school papers and notebooks, she hears a knock on the front door. She hears her mother answer it and then someone climbing the stairs.

She looks up when she realizes that someone is standing in her doorway.

'Brenda, I need to talk to you,' Dylan says, as he stuffs his hands in his jacket pockets.

'Dylan, what are doing here? Didn't you get enough of me last night?' she smiles.

He laughs out loud and takes a seat next to her on the floor. She looks over at him, smiles a little, and tries to concentrate on the papers in front of her, but lets her eyes drift to the box again. He stares at her and notices the glance in the direction of the dresser.

'What's in that box?' he says, as he looks at the top of the box, recognizing Brenda's handwriting, _'DO NOT OPEN, EVER.'_

She laughs out loud. 'Just memories,' she says, 'Just memories.' He reflects for a moment and suddenly remembers,

'_You threw away all my stuff, huh, took down all the pictures?'_

'_No, they're just packed away in a box in the garage.'_

'_Out of sight, out of mind?'_

'_Dylan, you've never been out of my mind.'_

He laughs too. 'Packed away in a box in the garage?' he says, as he looks at her.

'Yeah, something like that,' she says, 'Dylan, why are you here?'

He turns serious and says, 'I came across a few things that I wanted you to see before you left.'

'Dylan, I'm only going to be gone for a few weeks, you act as if I'm never coming back.'

'I know, but like you said, whatever happens in this week may change the rest of our lives.'

'Well, that's not exactly what I said,' she smiles at the fact that he changed the 'my life' to 'our lives'.

He fumbles with the papers in his pocket. He begins to think that this isn't the right time to be doing this. He wants to make this special. He wants to reminisce with her and be able to tell her how he feels in a very memorable way.

'Bren, can I see you again before you leave? There are a few things I need to talk to you about and want you to know before you take off again. I don't want you to leave with any uncertainties about us,' he says.

'Dylan….,' she says slowly, with a little uncertainty. She didn't really expect anything more than what last night was and she kind of wanted to keep that memory of Dylan. 'I…'

'Please, Bren, please,' he cuts her off.

'Okay, how about Friday? My plane leaves on Saturday night,' she proposes.

'Perfect. I will pick you up,' he says as he gets up off of the floor. He kisses her on the top of her head and leaves the room.

She sighs, _'Oh, boy. What have I gotten myself into?'_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Brenda finds out about Brandon's girl and Dylan gets news about Kevin.

_Dylan's House_

'Dylan!' Erica cries out.

'Hey, little one, how are you?' Dylan says as he comes out of the kitchen.

'Good. We get to spend the entire rest of the day together!' Erica exclaims and bounces herself over to the couch.

Suzanne and Kevin stand just inside the doorway. "Okay, we're off. Thanks again Dylan. We should be back in a few hours,' Suzanne says.

'Okay, have fun.'

Suzanne and Kevin leave Dylan's house and get in the car. Kevin smiles over at Suzanne, who returns his smile fervently. They laugh a little as they pull out of the driveway and make their way to the highway.

They drive for a while then pull off the highway exit and stop at a large house with a wrap around porch. Kevin and Suzanne get out of the car and knock on the door. The door opens and there stands a tall man wearing a white tee-shirt and a pair of worn jeans.

'Kevin thanks for coming. I've got all of the paperwork you need inside.'

'Great,' Kevin says, as he leads Suzanne into the house.

The tall man shows Kevin and Suzanne several documents, including fake passports, deeds to properties, fake stock certificates, credit cards, and so on.

'So, this should be everything you need to disappear with after you get the money from the kid. Do you think you'll have any problems with him signing it over?' the tall man asks.

Kevin looks at Suzanne and then back at the tall man, 'No, I think he's convinced that the cause is good enough to invest in and I think he's successfully removed Jim Walsh from the puzzle. So, we shouldn't have any other problems from this point forward.'

'Great, because that's the last thing we need. Jim isn't a stupid man. If he catches wind that there is any sort of foul play going on, he'll nail us in a second. I know that he doesn't have the best relationship with Dylan, considering all of the stuff he went through with his daughter, but as we've seen in the past, he will defend the boy until the freaking cows come home if he believes Dylan is being threatened in any way.'

Suzanne stares at the tall man as he talks about Jim. She furrows her brow a little bit, and then straightens it quickly, hoping that Kevin didn't see it. How does this man know so much about Jim and Dylan? Kevin did not mention that this man was intimately involved in this scheme, just that he knew someone who could get us some fake documents to make it easier to disappear. She begins to feel extraordinarily uneasy and shifts in her seat.

'Okay, well, if I sense that Jim is not backing down as Dylan has asked him to, we'll regroup, okay?' Suzanne hears Kevin saying to the tall man.

'Okay, man, but keep your eyes open.'

Kevin picks up the fake documents and holds his hand out for Suzanne to get up. They make their way back to the car and take off down the road. They stop at a diner to pick up something to eat. While Kevin is talking, Suzanne's mind drifts to Dylan and Erica and the uneasiness grows in her stomach. She puts up a front so that Kevin doesn't start getting suspicious of her and begins to formulate an alternative plan.

Back at the tall man's house, Jim Walsh comes out from the back of the house. 'So, do you think we have enough to nail him yet?'

_Casa Walsh_

'Hello?' Brenda says, as she picks up the ringing phone.

'Bren! How the hell are you! Did you see it? Did you see me on TV?' Brandon yells with excitement.

'Brandon, you're insane. Yes, I saw, I saw you on TV. You looked great. Very professional as you were shaking the President's hand.'

'It felt great. Bren, there's something I have to tell you,' Brandon says, as his tone gets more serious.

'What is it?' she says, growing concerned.

'Well, I found someone at the hotel that I think I'd like to spend some time with and I wanted you to be the first to know.'

'Geez, Brandon. Why do I have to be the first to know about your girlfriends? Why do you feel the need to explain it to me every time you want to share some intimate moment with people? I'm not a shrink you know.'

'Brenda, please stop being so overdramatic. It's Kelly,' he states, 'She got on a plane and met me at the hotel yesterday. We had a great day yesterday, and she was in the audience when I met the President. We just sat down and talked about what this is and what we wanted it to be, and we decided that this is a perfect opportunity for us to explore the relationship that never was.'

'Wow. She must really have it for you bad, Brandon. She doesn't just hop on planes for anyone,' Brenda says.

'Yeah, well, I have it for her too. There is no denying that anymore.'

'Good for you Brandon. I am very happy for both of you. Maybe now you guys will be able to share in the happiness of a somewhat non-dysfunctional relationship.'

'Very funny, Brenda. Okay, well, I have to go now. I'll be home tomorrow afternoon. When are you leaving?' he asks.

'Saturday night.'

'Okay, well, I'll see you tomorrow.'

'See you tomorrow, Brandon. Tell Kelly I said congratulations and that it took you guys long enough! Love you and have a safe trip back,' Brenda smiles as she hangs up the phone.

_Washington, D.C._

Brandon hangs up the phone as Kelly comes out of the bathroom.

'Hey, you,' he says.

'Hey. Who were you talking to?' Kelly asks him.

'Brenda. I wanted to make sure that they knew that I wasn't come back until tomorrow. I hope you don't mind, but I was so excited about our relationship, that I, well, I told her,' Brandon says, as he winces a little bit.

'Brandon,' she says as she sits down next to him on the bed. She puts her hand on his upper arm and strokes him gently. 'It's okay. She was going to find out anyway. It makes me feel so good that you are excited about us. I wasn't sure how you were going to react to me showing up expectedly.'

He caresses the side of her face and kisses her gently. She raises her eyebrows and wraps her arms around his neck.

_Casa Walsh_

Jim comes through the door, greeted by the sight of Cindy and Brenda in the kitchen laughing and talking while setting the table for dinner. He smiles a little to himself and hopes that he is finally doing the right thing where Dylan is concerned.

'Hi Dad. Brandon called he's coming back tomorrow and guess who he's bringing with him?' she smiles.

'Oh, God, who?' he says, as he looks over a Cindy. She smiles at him and says, 'Kelly. She jumped on a plane and met him out in Washington D.C. Isn't that romantic?'

'Wow, didn't see that one coming. I thought Kelly and Dylan were still dating?' he says as he looks over at Brenda.

'Nope, apparently, they broke up a little while ago,' Brenda states.

'Well, that's interesting,' Jim says. He makes his way upstairs to change out of his suit before dinner. He looks at himself in the mirror, wipes his forehead and picks up the phone.

Hearing the answering machine, he lets out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. 'Dylan, its Jim Walsh. Give me a call when you get this message. I have some interesting news for you.'

_Dylan's House_

The answering machine beeps. Dylan and Erica are in the living room with the stereo blasting. Erica is holding a hairbrush and dancing in the middle of the floor while Dylan is seated on the couch clapping his hands and cheering for her. She lip syncs to the song on the radio and he laughs at her performance. Neither one of them hear the phone ring or the beep of the answering machine.

Suzanne and Kevin pull up to Dylan's house. He turns off the car and looks at her. 'Okay, so a few more days and Dylan should be ready to go and get the money for us. Then we pack Erica up for our fake honeymoon and get out of here for a while.'

She nods and fake smiles, 'Right, okay. Let me go up and get Erica. Hide those papers because if she sees them, she'll clue Dylan in to what's going on. I know she will.'

'Right, of course. I'll do that while you go and get her,' Kevin says.

Suzanne gets out of the car and walks up to the door. Standing on the other side of the door, she hears very loud music, clapping, and cheering. She smiles to herself and the pit in the bottom of her stomach gets heavier. She opens the door and sees her daughter singing into a hairbrush.

'Mom!' Erica says, as she runs to hug her mother.

'Hey, baby, nice singing.'

'Thanks!'

'Thanks so much for watching her Dylan. I appreciate it,' Suzanne says.

'No problem. See you tomorrow probably,' he says.

Suzanne nods and picks up her daughter's jacket. 'Come on, kiddo, let's go.'

'Bye Dylan,' Erica says as she hugs him.

They leave the house and get in the car with Kevin. Dylan shuts the door and turns to go into the kitchen, when he sees the answering machine light blinking. He presses the button and listens. _'Dylan, its Jim Walsh. Give me a call when you get this message. I have some interesting news for you.'_

Dylan looks puzzled at the machine. What could Jim possibly need to tell him? As far as he was concerned, there were no new developments in the project to invest in Kevin's ideas. _'Maybe it has nothing to do with Kevin. Maybe Jim wants to talk about something else. Nah, that can't be true.'_ Dylan contemplates what Jim could possible want, and then realizes that if he goes over there instead of calling, he may get to see Brenda again before their semi-date on Friday. A smile creeps across his face as he grabs his jacket and leaves the house.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 – Dylan and Jim have a chat

_Casa Walsh_

The doorbell rings and Jim gets up from the living room to answer it. He opens the door to see Dylan standing there.

'Dylan, it is good to see you. I take it you got my message.'

'Yeah, I did. What interesting news do you have for me?'

Dylan stands in the foyer of the Walsh house. Jim motions for him to join him in the living room. As Dylan is walking to the living room, he casts a glance up the stairs to where Brenda might be.

'Brenda's not here, if that's who you are looking for,' Jim says, as he sees Dylan look up the stairs.

'Oh, I was just wondering. I saw her yesterday and wanted to make sure I had some time to say goodbye for the summer.' Dylan lies.

Jim smiles to himself. After hearing that Dylan and Kelly were no longer dating and that Kelly was now dating Brandon, he had a feeling that Dylan might come back for Brenda, and he was right.

'Dylan, please, sit down. I know that you and I have had our differences over the last few years. Please know that I was and still am always looking out for your best interests. There were never any intentions to ever lead you astray or cause you to make bad financial decisions. I just wanted you to be sure of that before I tell you what I need to tell you,' Jim says, while wringing his hand a little and furrowing his brow.

Dylan looks at him, then down at the floor. 'Jim, I do know that. As much as I have fought you in the past and even in the present, I do know that you would never intentionally hurt me.'

'Good,' Jim says as he gets up and goes over to the small desk in the living room. He opens the top drawer and pulls out a few papers and a large brown envelope. He sighs before turning around and moving back to the couch where Dylan is sitting.

'After we did the background check on Suzanne to make sure that she was clean, I kept a close eye on her and her past. When I came up with nothing after a little while, I almost gave up on it, figuring that anything really bad would have come up by now.'

Dylan stares intently at Jim as he explains himself.

'Dylan, when Kevin came into the picture and you decided that you wanted to invest your money with him, I did some research on Kevin. At first it was all professionally related to his research and any kind of funding he may have received in the past for his ideas. Then when I heard that he and Suzanne were getting married, I kicked up the check to make sure that he was personally not involved with any backdoor dealings and to make sure that he didn't have some indirect connection to your father.'

Dylan's ears perked up a little after hearing his father. Jim automatically made an assumption that Kevin may be connected somehow to his father.

'Jim, how did it even cross your mind to cross reference Kevin with my father?'

'Dylan, people come out of the woodwork for far stupider reasons than this. He connects himself to Suzanne, who was connected to your father, who is connected to you, and round and round we go. I just wanted to make sure that you weren't going to have to go through another situation where you get a false sense of family security, just to have it ripped out from under you.'

Dylan looks up at Jim. He remembers how supportive and caring the Walshes were to him when his father died. He nods his head in agreement and lets Jim continue.

'So, anyway, the check did not come up with a whole lot at first,' Jim says. Dylan furrows his brow as he hears 'at first' and realizes that there is something very wrong going on.

Jim continues, 'Then Kevin's name connects to a guy named Mark Durgess. Mark is a shady dealer in fake identities, including fake driver's licenses, passports, birth certificates, stock paperwork, and the list goes on and on. The man pretty much generates new identities for people on the scam.'

Dylan's mouth opens a little.

'Anyway, we start surveillance on Mark and sure enough, he gets a visit from Kevin last week. Kevin requests fake identification packages for him, Suzanne, and Erica.'

Dylan sighs loudly and his shoulders drop. 'Oh my God.'

'Dylan,' Jim says as he puts his hand on Dylan's shoulder, 'Today, Suzanne and Kevin left your house to go to Mark's to pick up the fake information. I know they did because I was there. The FBI needs Mark's help to capture people like him and offered him a deal. If he cooperated in catching and putting Kevin away, he wouldn't have to do jail time.'

'Oh my God,' Dylan says again, 'I can't believe this. How could I have been so stupid? Preying on my longing to have a family and be a part of something? Damn!' Dylan gets up from the couch and starts pacing around the living room.

'Dylan, listen to me. You need to pretend that you have no idea what's going on. You need to lead Kevin to the bank, take out the money and let him leave the bank with the suitcase. It's the only way we can take him down and get him out of your life. Now, from watching them interact with Mark, I can tell you that I think Suzanne is having second thoughts about running away with Kevin. She may be coming up with a plan on her own to get him caught. What she doesn't know is that not only is he going to be caught, but he's going away for a long, long time.'

'So, all I have to do is play along for a couple of days?' Dylan asks.

'Yes, just for a few more days. You'll get a call from me telling you that the bank is ready for you to get the money out. We have to set up security, tell the bank employees what is going on and make sure that we have a good angle on everything so that he can't get away from us.'

'Right, okay. I'll wait for your call them. Jim, I don't know how to thank you. I am so glad that there is someone like you looking out for me and my interest,' Dylan says with certain sincerity.

'Dylan, I really do want what's best for you. And if you feel the need to prey on my daughter again, I promise, I won't stand in your way. You two are old enough now to make mistakes and deal with the consequences of those mistakes without parents getting in the way.'

Dylan smiles, and then laughs a little. 'Thanks Jim, I'll keep that in mind.'

Dylan walks into the foyer and opens the door to leave. He looks back at Jim and says, 'Thank you again. It's nice to know that I still have people who care about me,' Dylan smiles as he leaves the house.

Brenda tiptoes back into the kitchen. While Dylan and her father were talking, she had snuck in through the back door. She had come in to the conversation during her dad's speech about her and saw Dylan smile. She slipped back out through the door and then opened it with flair, trying to make enough noise to alert her father that she had come in.

'Brenda, is that you?' she hears her father calling.

'Yes, Dad, it's just me. Is Dylan here?' she asks, knowing that he would know that she say Dylan's car in the driveway.

'No, actually he just left a couple of seconds ago,' her father says.

'Oh, okay,' Brenda says, 'Well, I'm going upstairs now.'

'How was Donna? Is she doing any better?'

'Well Dad, she is heartbroken. She is so hurt and mortified that David would leave her to have meaningless sex with some record company slut. I think she'll be alright, but it's definitely going to take some time.'

'Just like it took you to get over Dylan?' her dad asks.

'Dad, I think this is a little more complicated than that, but I don't think it will be easy for her. I invited her to come and visit me in London the last week of the program. Maybe she will need a break by then and I'll be able to help her through it.' Brenda leaves her dad standing in the kitchen and goes up to her room.

She opens her door and almost trips over the box that she still had not opened. She stares at it, and then shakes her head. _'No, no, no, no. Not yet.'_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – Dylan gets even

_Dylan's House_

Dylan arrives home after his conversation with Jim. He goes into the kitchen and pours himself a glass of water. He walks back over to the dining room table where he left the box of letters. He sifts through them looking for the one he wrote right after he found out that Suzanne's background check came up clean.

_I'm not sure how I feel about her. A major part of me wants to embrace her and start being a family as quickly as possible. I want to do all of the things with Erica that I never got to do as a kid. I want to show her that she's loved and accepted just the way she is. I want to share my excitement with everyone I meet. I want to let go and lose myself in this warm feeling of security. There's a little part of me that is screaming inside. Don't trust anyone! Haven't you learned your lesson yet? Everyone you let in seems to find the most excruciating way to break your heart and leave you to your own devices after they have taken what they need. Well, maybe not everyone._

Dylan smiles a little, which turns into a bit of a frown. _'No, not everyone. I was the one who left Brenda broken hearted in the end.'_

_Casa Walsh_

Brandon and Kelly walk through the front door hand in hand. 'Mom? Dad? Brenda?' Brandon calls from the foyer. He lets go of Kelly's hand and makes his way to the kitchen. He doesn't see anyone then hears some footsteps coming down the stairs.

'Brandon?' Brenda calls. She stops at the bottom of the stairs and sees Kelly standing there. 'Hi Kel,' she says and gives her friend a hug.

Brandon comes in from the kitchen and embraces his sister.

'How was your flight?' Brenda asks.

'Great, not bad at all. Where's Mom and Dad? They knew I was coming right?' Brandon says.

'They are in the backyard. They are trying to decide what to do with the garden,' Brenda says, and then laughs a little.

Brandon looks at Kelly and they both start laughing.

'Well, I better go. My mom is probably wondering where I am right now. I'll see you guys later,' Kelly says, as she turns to walk out of the house. Brandon grabs her arm, looks at her and then kisses her gently. 'Bye,' he whispers.

She smiles at him and almost skips out to her car.

'Nice going, Brandon,' Brenda says as she claps her brother on the back.

'Thanks, now go away,' he laughs.

Brenda makes her way back up to her room. She had completed going through her desk and she had moved on to the closet. She had left the core amount of clothes out so that she would have things to wear for the rest of the week, but had begun to pack everything else. Standing at her bedside folding clothes to put in the suitcase, she could feel the box behind her. _'Come on, you are stronger than this. Resist the temptation. Come on, Brenda.'_ She spends the rest of the night packing her clothes and trying not to look at the box on the floor.

_Dylan's House_

'Right, so I need that to be delivered at 4pm on Friday, okay? No, it's not okay. The delivery cannot be late,' Dylan says into the phone. Everything has to go perfectly for Friday. 'Great, thank you.' Dylan hangs up the phone and smiles. This is one of the more perfect plans he has ever come up with. He knows that Brenda cares about him and will always love him, but there are a lot of things that he never had the nerve or the courage to tell her.

Dylan is sitting at the kitchen table with the letters strewn about its surface. He is handpicking certain letters and placing them in a large envelope. The telephone begins to ring and he walks over to pick it up.

'Dylan, its Jim, it's time to call Kevin and set up the transfer at the bank.'

'Right, okay then, I'll call him right now with the news. Do I need to do anything?' Dylan asked.

'Not a thing, just agree to whatever he wants and we'll do the rest,' Jim says.

'Okay, I'll do that. Thanks, Jim.'

'I'm proud of you Dylan. I'll see you after it's all over tomorrow, okay?' Jim asks.

'Okay, see you tomorrow.'

Dylan hangs up the phone and immediately dials Kevin's number. He tells Kevin when he picks up the phone that the bank called and left a message saying that the money will be ready for withdrawal tomorrow and to meet him at the bank. Kevin agrees and hangs up the phone.

'Suzanne, Dylan's ready. He just called and said the bank authorized the withdrawal,' Kevin says to her.

'Oh, really, that soon?' Suzanne asks with a lump in her throat. She had not yet figured out how she was going to turn on Kevin. She feared that she may have to play along until he tries to use his fake identification wherever they ended up after they got the money from Dylan. Just thinking about what she had to do made her a little sick to her stomach.

Dylan gets ready to meet Kevin at the bank the next morning when he hears a knock on the door. He opens the door and sees Brandon standing there.

'Brandon, what a surprise. I didn't expect to see you here,' Dylan says.

'Hey D, I just wanted to tell you myself what's going on. Kelly came to visit me while I was in D.C.,' Brandon admits.

'Yeah, we saw her on TV as well as you when the camera panned the audience. Look, man, whatever you guys want to do with each other is fine with me. There was no way a successful relationship was ever going to come out of me and Kelly. She and I don't actually have that much in common.

'I'm sorry to hear that man,' Brandon says, 'I mean, it's good for me, but you know I never meant to hone in on your territory, right? It just happened.'

'Yeah, I know, man. Look, it's cool, okay? Now, I have an appointment, so I gotta get going.' He gives Brandon a quick embrace and shuts the door behind him.

He leaves Brandon on the steps of his house and drives over to the bank where he is supposed to meet Kevin. He sees Kevin standing in front of the bank waiting for him and walks up.

'Kevin, how are you doing this fine morning?' Dylan says.

"Well, Dylan, I feel really good about this. I think we are going to make a great team in getting those waters cleaned up. Well, shall we?' Kevin asks pointing to the door of the bank.

'Absolutely,' Dylan says, trying to hide a smile.

Dylan and Kevin sit in the manager's office while he gathers the appropriate paperwork for the transaction. Dylan is a little uneasy and is fidgeting a little, but notices that Kevin is cool as a cucumber. _'Just wait you freaking crook, just wait.'_

The bank manager hands Dylan the withdrawal paperwork and he looks at Kevin and signs his name. He hands the paperwork over to Kevin to sign, which he does very quickly. The bank manager hands Dylan the suitcase full of money and shakes his hand.

'Thank you, sir,' Dylan says as he and Kevin walk out of the office. 'Well, here you go. Let me know if you find a place to begin working and I'll come out and see it right away.'

'Will do, Dylan. You are a good man, you know that?' Kevin asks.

Dylan smiles. _'Yes, yes I do.'_ Dylan watches as Kevin walks out of the bank and to his car. He stands outside of the bank door. As Kevin goes to get in with the suitcase, Dylan hears the sound of several people running from the sides of the building. 'Freeze!'

As Kevin is being placed in handcuffs and put in the back of a Police car, Jim Walsh walks up to where Dylan is standing with the suitcase.

'Good job, son. You did everything right,' Jim beams at him.

'Thanks Jim. I couldn't have done it without you.'

'Well, guess who came to see me this morning to tell me about the entire scam and wanted to know how it could be stopped?' Jim asked.

Dylan looks at him and tries not to smile. 'Who?'

Suzanne and Erica walk up from where they had parked across the street.

'Dylan,' Suzanne starts, 'I am so sorry.' She has tears in her eyes. 'I never meant for this to happen. He was so convincing that what he was doing was right that I didn't see past it. I feel so ashamed.'

'Suzanne, I never thought that once I got a family that I would have to hold them at arm's length. I know you probably meant well, but you are going to have to work really hard if you want me to ever trust you again.' With that, Dylan turns, shakes Jim's hand, and walks to his car. _'I need to get ready for tomorrow with Brenda. There are still some things I have to set up for her.'_ Dylan drives away from the bank with a smile on his face.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 – Brenda gets an adventure she wasn't quite expecting

_Casa Walsh_

'Brenda! Telephone! It's Dylan,' Cindy yells up the stairs.

Brenda walks over to the phone and picks it up. 'Hello?'

'Hey, I just wanted to call and make sure that you are ready when I come to get you. We have a strict time table for this evening,' Dylan says with a smile.

'Oh, really, what exactly are we doing? I thought you just wanted to talk?' Brenda smiles.

'Oh, I do, but there's more to it than that. Trust me. Just be ready by 4,' Dylan says and hangs up the phone.

'Dylan?' Brenda says into the phone. _'Damn. Why is he being so secretive? I have a bad feeling about this.'_

'Was that Dylan on the phone?' Brandon asks as he pokes his head in from the bathroom door.

'Yeah, and he's being really weird. He said that he wanted to see me before I left because there are a couple of things he wanted to say that he's never had the chance to say. I'm not quite sure how to take that, Brandon," Brenda says with a confused look on her face.

'Bren, what are you worried about? It's not like you're dating him and you're afraid he's going to break your heart. Don't you think if he didn't care about you that he wouldn't care to make such an effort before you left? I'm sure it's all good things,' Brandon reassures her.

'Yeah, you're probably right. What am I worried about?' Brenda laughs it off. She starts getting ready for Dylan to come and get her, trying to focus on one thing at a time.

'Brenda? There's someone at the door for you,' Cindy calls up to her daughter.

'Be right there!' Brenda yells back down. _'Why didn't she just say that Dylan is at the door? That's weird.'_

Brenda comes down the stairs expecting to see Dylan waiting for her, instead there's a man holding a bouquet of roses and a note in the foyer of the Walsh house. She furrows her brow a little bit, while the man hands her the flowers and the note, then leaves.

'_What the hell?'_ She looks at her mother, who shrugs and walks into the kitchen. Brenda brings the flowers to the dining room table and opens the note.

_Brenda - Please forgive me for leading you astray, thinking that I was going to show up today._ Brenda's heart skips a beat at reading that line. _I wanted to take you on an adventure that you will (hopefully) never forget. Please go outside and get in the limousine waiting for you there. The driver knows where to bring you. Please bear with me. I want to show you everything and will in good time. Dylan_

Brenda's eyes tear up a little bit. She's not quite sure what to make of this note, but decides that it's worth hearing what he has to say and what he has to show me. She says goodbye to her mother and goes outside to find the limousine that Dylan said would be there waiting for her in the driveway.

The driver opens the door and hands her another note before she gets in. She sits in the back of the limousine, takes a breath and reads the second note.

_Well, you made it to the limo. I'm glad you still have some faith in me._ Brenda smiles at that. _The driver will take you to the next stop. Don't give up. I will be waiting when you are through. Dylan_

Brenda puts the note in her purse. _Well, he certainly has flair. This must be really important to him or he would not be going to all of this trouble._

After about 10 minutes the limousine stops and the driver opens the door for Brenda. She gets out of the car and realizes that she is in the parking lot of West Beverly High School. 'What the hell?' she says out loud. The driver laughs a little and points to a tree, which has a note tied with ribbon to it. She laughs a little too, and walks over to the tree. She unties the note and reads.

_Do you remember this tree? I have never forgotten it. This is where we played on the lawn with each other making Brandon jealous. _Brenda laughs out loud._ I know that there are many parts of this school that you would rather forget. We hurt each other many times while wandering around this place. I only hope that we are both mature enough to talk it out and get past anything that has been left over. And on to the next! Dylan_

Brenda walks back to the limousine and the driver closes the door after she gets in. _'He's taking me on a scavenger hunt of our relationship. I'm not sure if that's good or bad.'_ Brenda thinks to herself.

The limousine takes off and in another couple of minutes it stops. The door opens and Brenda recognizes the place immediately. 'The Peach Pit? Oh, brother,' she says out loud. She walks in to the Pit and it almost seemed as if everyone stopped talking and turned to look at her when she enters. She walks up to the counter and is about to ask for Nat, when he walks out from the back.

'Brenda! You're here already? That didn't take long at all,' he says.

'Nat, are you in on this? What's going on?' Brenda asks.

'Brenda, my dear, you are in for a treat.' He reaches under the counter and pulls out another note and hands it to her.

'Thanks Nat,' she smiles at him.

'Now, go over to the table by the jukebox and read it. I'll be right with you,' he winks at her.

'Okay,' Brenda says as she looks at Nat suspiciously.

_Ah, the Pit. So many wonderful things happened in this joint. I will always and forever remember Laverne serenading the customers to buy more pie. I will never forget the fear in my heart when Brandon and I found you on the ground crying after the Pit was robbed. I wanted to run out in the street and find the guy so that I could kill him myself. I was so scared for you. I was so helpless. Brenda, with the amount of emotional pain we put each other through, I'm surprised that either of us is still alive. And I thank you every day for not hating me for too long and your willingness to stand by me and be my friend even after I hurt you. You are an amazing woman. I will never ever forget that. Pick up the pie that Nat is going to bring over and get back in the car. There's so much more I need you to see. Dylan_

Brenda looks up through the tears and sees Nat coming over to the table with a napkin and a carry out bag.

'There, there,' he says and gives her the napkin.

'Nat, I can't figure it out,' Brenda says with a slight hitch in her voice.

'What can't you figure out?' Nat asks.

'Well, I know that Dylan would not be putting me through this without a good reason and hopefully something positive coming out of it, but I can't help but feel like this is some kind of torture. Is that wrong?' she says.

Nat laughs a little. 'Brenda dear, reliving a relationship such as yours and Dylan's is probably going to be a little bit torture, a lot bit love. Don't you agree?'

Brenda looks up at him. She smiles a little. 'Yeah, I guess you're right.'

'Of course I am. Now, go get in the car, you're trip isn't over yet.'

Brenda takes the carry out bag with the pie in it and gets back in the limousine. The driver hands her another note and begins to drive.

_Brenda, I hope that you are on board with this little thing I've put together. I thought of several ways to get across what I needed to get across before we actually started talking to each other. There are a few more places I need you to go before you get to me. I am eagerly anticipating your arrival. Dylan._

She smiles. _'Okay, so there is a point to this. I hope this is helping him, because I don't know what it's doing to me!'_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 – Brenda's journey takes quite a turn

The limousine stops and the driver gets out and opens the door. Brenda steps out of the limousine and is face to face with the most beautiful view of the city. The driver looks at her as she realizes that they are parked in between a few cars that have horny teenagers making out in them. He points over to the sign that says 'Lookout Point.' She walks over to it and finds a note taped to the back of the sign. Brenda lets out a sigh as she takes in the view.

_Brenda – I have mixed feelings about this place to tell you the truth. This was the site of our first real date, a couple of fights, reconciliation, and countless other things. I guess I do have more good feelings about this place than bad ones. And you can't get that view anywhere else. I still remember the look in your eyes when you saw it for the first time. I will cherish that moment forever. It always made me feel good when I could show you something you had never seen before. I went out of my way to do it sometimes, just so that I could see that look. Well, looks like we're nearing the end of the tour. Dylan._

Brenda walks back over to the limousine and the driver closes the door behind her. The limousine takes off and Brenda smiles. _This is kind of fun. I can't believe he did all of this._

After about 15 minutes the limousine stops again. The driver opens the door and lets Brenda out. He hands her another note and tells her to walk toward the water from here until she sees something on the ground. He smiles a little knowing that the clue is not very descriptive, but shakes his head at her and nods.

She takes the note and starts walking on the beach toward the water. As she gets closer, she notices a beach bag sitting on the ground. She opens the note.

_Brenda – hopefully you've walked far enough to reach the bag. Inside there's a blanket for you to sit on and a few other things._ Brenda looks in the bag and pulls out the blanket. She lays it down on the ground and sits on it. She peers in the bag and begins to pull out the contents and place them on the blanket. A Hawaiian lei, a miniature surfboard keychain, the 90 day sober medal, a keychain with the number 271 on it, a jewelry box with the watch chain medallion she bought him from Paris, the program from Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, and a plane ticket to Las Vegas. Brenda stares at all of the things in the bag and begins to marvel at the meaning behind each of them. She picks Dylan's note back up and continues to read.

_By now you've discovered the contents of the bag. I keep those things all together, plus a few other things that I could not just leave out on the beach, in the same place. I find that at least once every few weeks, I tend to pull them out and sift through them. Wanting to touch each one and remember what it was like, what was going on, and how I was feeling during all of those times. Some of them are pretty painful and some of them make me want to run out, find you, and hold you tight to me. I picked the beach to show you these things because we had a lot of memories out there. Close your eyes and pretend you're in Baja for a second._ Brenda closes her eyes and smiles. She can picture each moment of their weekend down in Baja, the good and the bad._ I have never brought anyone else down there after we went down. Ever. I couldn't do it. I didn't want to taint anything that I remembered about that night, our night. I remember being here and asking you to run away with me so that you didn't have to move back to Minnesota. I remember being here the night you broke up with me in the car. I remember being here and welcoming you back after you disclosed your Paris fling to me and asks if I was ready to start our senior year together. God, how stupid was I back then? Anyway, let's not dwell on that; yet anyway, let's go back a little. Do you remember when we were sneaking around behind your parents back and they caught us together at the beach club? You went to confront them yourself and even though I wanted to go and be there with you, you were very adamant about doing it yourself. What you don't know is that I only walked a little ways away and then I turned around because I should have been there. When I got back to club to go up to where you were, I saw you. You were defiantly yelling at your father in front of the entire club._ Brenda gasps out loud. She didn't think in a million years that he heard what she said to her father that day. _'I can't believe he was there and he never told me.'_ Brenda tries hard to remember exactly what she told her father.

_Flashback – the Beach Club_

_Jim follows Brenda down the stairs from the Cabana._

'_Brenda, come back here. Brenda! Come back here this minute!' She stops at the bottom of the stairs and turns around._

'_You know you are wrong Dad. You have been wrong for a long time. You are wrong about me and you are wrong about Dylan. But you are right about one thing, Dylan and I shouldn't be sneaking around and I shouldn't have lied to you. And I'm not going to lie to you any more. I am in love with Dylan, Dad. He is an important part of my life and I'm going to see him whenever and wherever I want.' Brenda turns to walk away._

'_Brenda, I'm warning you. You walk away from me right now and things will never be the same.'_

_She turns around quickly, looks at her father, and stomps away._

Present Day

Brenda fills with emotion upon remembering that day with her father on the beach. She had no idea that Dylan heard her sticking up for the two of them. She thinks that maybe it didn't mean that much to Dylan back then, because he put her on a bus to the airport to go to Paris and then fooled around with her best friend. Maybe he has found a newfound strength in what he heard her say that day. She goes back to reading his note.

_You walked away from him even though he told you that things would never be the same. Unfortunately, he was right. Even after I heard you stick up for me, I couldn't help but think in the back of my mind that your father would always be against me no matter what I did. I helped him encourage you to go to Paris and reflecting back on it now, I enabled our downfall because I couldn't take it anymore. It was too hard and I was too much of a coward to pony up. I let you go and then tore your heart out._ Brenda tries not to dwell on what she just read. She tries not to cry and go back to remembering what it was like back then. She continues to read Dylan's note.

_I'm sorry I had to bring all of that up, but tonight's the night all of the dirty laundry comes out. Well, maybe not all. Gather yourself up and get back in the car. Dylan._

Brenda begins to put all of Dylan's mementos in the bag with the blanket. She grabs the bag and the note and makes her way back to the car. The driver hands her a tissue and opens the door. '_How did he know I was going to need a tissue?'_

The limousine takes off and drives for a few minutes. Brenda puts the bag on the seat and leans back and closes her eyes for a few minutes. _'There is a good explanation for all of this. There is a good explanation for all of this.'_

The limousine stops and the driver opens the door for Brenda to get out. She gets out of the car and realizes that they are at the pier where Dylan took her after she dropped out of Minnesota. The driver tells her to go to the end of the pier. She walks to the end of the pier and sees a note tied to one of the posts under a lamp. She unties the note and begins to read.

_The pier. This is one of my favorite moments with you. Reconnecting like we did here that day you came back from Minnesota, gave me all new faith that we could really end up being friends. You turned me down and I can say it was probably the best decision we ever made (well, that you made for us). It allowed me to step back and look at you and us in a different way. It allowed me to freely write all of the emotions that I had built up down on paper. I was even able to go back in time to capture emotions that I was feeling during most of our relationship from the very beginning up until this point in time. I had just gotten home from dropping Erica off after we went to see your play. I can't even begin to formulate the words to tell you how amazing you were up there on stage. Anyway, I got home and pulled out a piece of paper and started writing about how I felt. Before I knew it, I had written 3 pages. I guess I was full of it that night. And reading it back over I got stuck on this one passage. I wrote:_

'_I don't know that you'll ever trust me enough to give me another chance. If the opportunity presents itself, I promise you with everything that I am that I will take it, just to have you in my arms and be able to kiss you and squeeze you and drift off to sleep knowing that you will keep me safe.'_

_And when the dream that I wrote down actually came true, I knew that it was now or never. I promise I will explain it more. Come and see me. Dylan._

Brenda looked up from reading the note and stared out into the water. It was amazing that in a few short days, Dylan and gone through this incredible transformation just because something he had written actually came true. She wondered what else he had to tell her and whether or not after this emotional roller coaster, if she could take it. She slowly began to walk back to the limousine.

She reached the limousine and the driver opened the door to let her in. She got in and leaned back on the seat and closed her eyes.

'I hope you're not too tired,' she heard. She quickly opened her eyes and saw Dylan sitting on the opposite seat in the limousine.

'You scared me,' Brenda lets out. The limousine begins to move and Dylan moves the bag over to the other seat and sits next to her. He puts his arm around her and she leans her head on his shoulder.

'Dylan, I can't believe you put all of this together in such a short amount of time,' Brenda says.

'Bren, it's not over yet,' he says. She looks up at him with a bewildered look. 'Don't worry, it's good. Just rest yourself, we're almost there.'

She leaned herself back into him. He wrapped his arms around her and laid his cheek on the top of her head. The ride was not long and when the door opened Brenda stepped out and realized that they were at the BelAge Hotel. Dylan steps out of the limousine and tells the driver to go and park. He takes her hand and leads her inside. She follows him, not quite sure why they were here. She tries to wrack her brain thinking of memories of Dylan in the hotel, but she really doesn't have any. She follows him to the patio where the pool is and he sits her down on one of the lounge chairs.

She looks up at him and he sits down with her. He grabs one of her hands and holds it with both of his.

'Bren, I know you're probably wondering what the hell we are doing here,' he says, as she nods in agreement. 'I wanted to explain a realization that I had about us, that of course, came a little too late. When my dad was released from prison, he threw a party here at the hotel. The only one to show up was Kelly,' he says as Brenda lowers her eyes to the ground. Dylan takes one of his hands and lifts her head from under her chin. 'Someone suggested that we take a swim so we got in the pool. This pool,' he says as he turns around and looks at it.

'As we were swimming, Kelly asked me what if you had come that night and if I had made up my mind based on the fact that you weren't there. I remember answering her by saying maybe,' Brenda looks at Dylan and suddenly realizes that out of sight, out of mind was how he chose between them.

'Bren, I know that it wasn't fair and that it wasn't even real, but at the moment it happened, it was easy. I took the road most traveled by because I was really too much of a coward to face the truth about us.'

Brenda continues to stare at him. She had a feeling that the simplest answer was the right one and Dylan had just confirmed it. 'Brenda, I don't want to run anymore. I don't want to push everything I'm feeling aside because it's too hard. I will never, ever be dishonest with you again. I want this relationship that we have, whatever it turns out to be, to be one based on truth and honesty. I can't hide anymore and I won't, especially from you.'

He looks at her face as he bares his feelings to her. Her eyes soften a bit and she takes her hand and caresses the side of his face.

'Dylan, I am so glad that you did all of this for me. It was an amazing journey and I am so happy that you are willing to figure this out instead of running away.' She reaches up and captures his lips with hers for a few seconds. She pulls away and realizes that both of them have tears in their eyes.

'I wanted to make sure that before you left, you knew what the deal was with me. I didn't want you to leave and wonder anything about how I feel,' Dylan says with sincerity.

'I appreciate that more than you know,' Brenda says. He pulls her close to him and wraps his arms around her.

'Now, let's get out of here. Are you hungry? You got the pie, right?' Dylan says.

Brenda laughs out loud. 'Yes, yes, I got the pie.'

End of Part 1 – More Than a Feeling; Sequel – Part 2 – The Time of Our Lives coming soon!


End file.
